Why I’m obsessed with Andrew Tate and modern masculinity

I am obsessed with Andrew Tate.

He’s magnetic. A trainwreck you can’t turn your eyes away from. In the last week I’ve watched an estimated 4-5 hours of videos of him, documentaries made about him, and his most recent interviews with Piers Morgan.  It’s the kind of entertainment that is rated R for violence, sex, offensive language, depictions of rape, and so on…

Except it’s not a movie. And I can’t turn it off.

I think Andrew Tate holds the key to a more equitable future.

His influence has wrapped a cohort of men from all over the world in a tsunami of violence, cult-like thought, and rage. Amazingly, his (latest) arrest on charges of rape, sex trafficking, and the creation of an organized crime ring to specifically exploit women, hasn’t seemed to tarnish his popularity even slightly. And this is why he’s a key to an equitable future. Tate understands what stops the world from being equitable now. It’s not that women aren’t empowered. It’s that men haven’t been (at least not in the ways that would lead to actual gender equity).

If you’re not a fan, keep reading.

If you are a fan, definitely keep reading.

Here’s my take:

A generation of young men have felt accused and blamed for their privilege.

• Privilege that they personally had no role in establishing.
• Privilege that was inborn to them through a system that has been poisoning all genders in America (and many other nations but I’ll speak only from my immediate experience as an American citizen).
• Privilege most men cannot see, but are nevertheless blamed for, and feel as if they are entitled to because it was literally what was handed to them.

After all, what hope does a white, cis, male have in a world that is “favoring” everyone who is not him? While I say this statement tongue in cheek, I can empathize with those who feel this way as logic and emotions are often not highly correlated.

Feeling wronged is fair, whether or not, being wronged is the reality.

To be clear, I do NOT want to write yet another article that shames or blames men. I think we have to recognize the very real pain men are feeling. I want to use the observations of the patriarchy and misogyny by philosophers like Kate Manne to find some solutions. To free men of the undeserved shame that is perhaps being unfairly placed on their shoulders and look instead to the systems under which we all operate.

Misogyny is upheld by ALL genders. It’s unfair to assign blame to any specific groups or individuals who behave in a normative way based on the system in which they are ingrained…

However, I will make an exception in my definition for Tate.

Unequivocally, Andrew Tate is a misogynist whose work is harmful to all genders and his followers should be the first to recognize why – he’s USED MEN TO FURTHER VICTIMIZE THEM.  I’m not saying he hasn’t said anything good.  Personal accountability, not relying on quick fixes of drugs or alcohol, and getting physically healthy are all things we can aspire to, but these seem to be the side effects of his main prescription, not the main course.

Andrew Tate understands the system. He understands that men feel blamed and hurt, and abandoned and lonely and un-manly because women are finally being recognized and claiming some of the power that has always been theirs to claim.  There are t-shirts widely proclaiming, “the future is female!” and celebrating women’s rise to masculine-based forms of power (leadership, finance, politics etc.). But where are the shirts for the men? Where is their celebration? Their pride? Cis white men feel like they are not allowed to celebrate who they are.

I get it. I understand the pain of not feeling seen, and worse, of being accused of things you don’t necessarily have the power to change with immediacy (i.e. privilege).

Andrew tries to play to this pain in the most toxic way possible. By profiting from men’s vulnerabilities. Specifically exploiting men by profiting from their pain.

Rather than cheerlead his followers into understanding that they are just as powerful as they’ve always been, that nothing has been taken from them, or better still to further empower men with empathy or in roles that have traditionally been viewed as “women’s work,” Tate has doubled down on the insecurities of men who feel left behind and misunderstood.  

Alone? We’ll offer a brotherhood.

Feeling emasculated? We’ll toughen you up.

The key? Well, you have to pay to find out, because let’s not forget, this isn’t actually about helping the men who feel abandoned by society….

it’s about making money and profiting from them.

Andrew Tate is to men, what lip-fillers are to women.

As women, the structural and systemic aspects of gender oppression try to convince us that our value is limited to our youth, beauty, and ability to serve others (namely men and our offspring).

As men, the same forces will give value to you only as a hyper-masculine, rich, dominating figure.

Tate’s magic is in understanding and manipulating the system for his own gain. Selling masculinity to men who feel like they are losing status is as easy as selling anti-aging cosmetics to women who have been fed a stream of media their whole lives that gasps at the unsightly natural occurrence of wrinkles or grey hair.

While Andrew claims to “free men from the matrix” he actually needs the matrix to keep peddling his goods to men.

He needs men to feel low.

He needs men to feel disempowered.

He needs men to crave a false narrative about power so that he can be the one to “teach” it and “grant” men power in its weakest form – dominance.

No one truly in power needs to prove themselves by lording power over anyone else.

Andrew Tate isn’t teaching men to be dominant. He’s dominating them.

So rather than continue this cycle of abuse and scam, I want instead to say this to the men of the War Room, Hustler University, the Real World, to the Andrew Tate fans wherever you are….

I see you…

I accept you as you are, not who you’re striving to have to be.

You’re already worthy and enough. That doesn’t stop you from growing, but your worth also isn’t dependent on it.

You don’t need to prove yourself to the likes of Andrew Tate or your own father or mother or anyone else for that matter.

You are valuable not because of your paycheck, or the car you drive, you’re valuable simply for being.

You can rage. You can cry. You can feel all the emotions you need.

At the end of the day I know, as well as you, how easy it is to throw a punch.

I’ve jabbed a lot in my lifetime – a reaction that hasn’t gotten me anywhere I’ve wanted to go.

But what I’ve learned is this:

Violence in words, thought and action is simple.

It’s reactionary. Basic. Anyone can fight. Anyone can try to dominate.

True toughness, true strength, true power, comes in kindness – first to yourself, and then to others.

It comes from loving yourself out of any of the shame you feel because you were misled.

It comes from loving yourself out of the cultural shame and guilt that isn’t yours to bear.

It comes from loving yourself. Period.

And for those who want to take that first step, I’m here for you.

I’ll say it again…I see you, and I accept you, and I love you.

Here’s to a brighter future with less pain for all – this is how we ultimately will find equity.